...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
