right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can I color on your dick again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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