I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
