can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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