This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
