Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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