So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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