I am in a vortex of obligation.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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