if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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