I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
