They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
