just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
