There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
