that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
