I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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