he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
