How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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