I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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