to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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