Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
