So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
