Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dick very happy bro
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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