Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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