So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize