I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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