thus making me awesome and them whores
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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