I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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