I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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