wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
