So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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