BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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