I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
