he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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