i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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