omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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