I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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