I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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