Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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