is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am one with the molecules
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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