Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
