need another drink. this is the easiest way
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
