Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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