Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
