how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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