Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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