somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and i looked up. we had an audience...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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