It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
