I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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