You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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