Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize