yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
