how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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