I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
