We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize