he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
