Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
