I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
