I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
