You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
