Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
