Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
