And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
