I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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