He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is my life. Enjoy the view
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
