Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They have beer where we have blood.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
