I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
