he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Operation Purity has been aborted
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
