Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
